Emily Post, Eat Your Heart Out

March 14th, 2024

With this month marking the return of our more casual wine tastings, and some tasting events coming up in the next few months, I decided that now would be as good a time as any to discuss etiquette at wine tastings and tips for a more enjoyable experience. Of course I know that everyone reading this already knows how to be on their best behavior at a wine tasting, so this is really reading material to pass along to your less civilized friends, family, enemies, or frenemies.

Wine tastings are sensory experiences, arguably the most important of which comes down to the olfactory sense, because without a good sniffin’ there ain’t much tasting going on. As such, it is recommended that strong colognes, perfumes, or fragrances of other sort aren’t worn. It’s tough to discern the nuances of an aged Bordeaux while your tasting neighbor smells richly of Axe Body Spray, though I do know that smelling like an axe drives members of the fairer sex wild.

Similarly to the strong smells of sprays and potions, it is not recommended to bring your own food to a wine tasting unless encouraged to do so. A vertical tasting (multiple vintages in a row) of a single vineyard Chablis would be tough to appreciate if an attendee arrived with a full rack of ribs drenched in barbeque sauce, but this would be made more acceptable if they were to bring enough to share. I wish I could say that I was making this up, but many years ago right before one of our wine tastings an employee out to enjoy their dinner put a Hot Pocket in the microwave for 16 minutes. The microwave spent the rest of the tasting event in the back of the warehouse as far away as possible, and the employee in question was encouraged to read the instructions more carefully next time.

Wine tastings come in different shapes, sizes, formats, and formality levels and it’s best to calibrate your expectations and manners to the level in question. If you know that your wine tasting involves a “guzzling contest” it’s polite to bring your own funnel, bringing an extra of course for anybody that forgot theirs would be going above and beyond. If it is an academic affair with a knowledgeable presenter that would require a different sort of politeness. In that case I would encourage active listening while keeping side conversations to a minimum. I’ve heard some very good questions asked by curious and thoughtful attendees that I never would have thought to ask myself.

Casual events done in the style of a trade show require a little bit of movement from time to time. It’s best not to park directly in front of the wine service, dump buckets, or food as a permanent spot, this allows others the access to all of the amenities. Speaking of which, dump buckets are for unwanted wine not trash, it isn’t much fun to have to go and out pens, paper, or bread from a bucket of wine spit. This of course something that I’ve had to do more often than I would prefer. And yes, it may sound a little gross to spit out wine, but some folk would rather taste than drink at these events, and that’s how we do it in a professional setting. Anybody is welcome to ask for a receptacle if they would prefer not to drink the wine, no judgment here. I will, however, be drinking the wine.

Keep nudity tasteful and to a minimum.

If you plan to engage in fisticuffs or a knife fight over opinions on the wine, take it to the parking lot and delay the fight long enough for other attendees to be able to place their bets.

Mama always said that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all, but at a wine tasting, feel free to express when a wine is or isn’t to your liking. But be careful about how strongly the opinion is expressed, because you don’t want to be accused of “yucking someone else’s yum.” I believe Pliny the Elder coined that phrase in his encyclopedic “Historia Naturalis.”

Have fun, drink some wine, but not too much, enjoy yourself and learn a thing or two while drinking. Isn’t that the American dream?

-Joe Buchter, Import Wine Buyer